Reading a recently published memoir of an Irish childhood in the early fifties, I was struck that we have regressed in terms of human relationship despite all our technological progress. In the book the writer recalled his Grandmother’s house where neighbours and friends came regularly to play cards and share supper in the evenings. Inevitably, the night was rounded off with music and songs as one or two of the card players were proficient on the box or the fiddle. Even the television brought people together; his Grandmother had the first television in the area and many would gather to marvel at the hazy, snowy black and white pictures emanating from the magic box. When they tired of the TV, the kitchen beckoned where tea and cake would accompany laughter and chat. He mentions the post man stopping in for a cup of tea and has vivid memories of making the daily trip with his mother and sister to the shops on foot. Without fridges and freezers fresh food supplies were purchased daily. He recalled the walk as being a special time with his mother and he had fond memories of the relationship his mother enjoyed with the local shopkeepers. The greengrocer and butcher called her by name. They shared in her celebrations and good fortune but also acknowledged her sorrow when necessary; sympathising over the death of a relation perhaps or the difficulty of a sick family member. There were kindnesses. If needed, an extension of credit for a few days was proffered easily, or the throwing in of an extra bit of meat here and there, “just for luck”, as the butcher used to say. The shops were also a source of news and generally of help to the community at large. Whatever was happening you heard it first in the shops. If someone received a good or bad report the shop had it. Admittedly the dark side was the propensity for unwholesome gossip, but the good outweighed the bad, and it was largely the glue that held communities together. Even in my own childhood, the 70s and 80s, I would have witnessed my mother and father dealing with customers in a similar manner. There was always a kind word at the news of a birth or even a death.
Our modern world talks the talk about community but the actions promote isolation. The drink driving laws have rendered many in the countryside to long lonely nights. Gone are the days of catching up with friends or even the publican for the news. I’m not objecting to the drink driving laws, they’re totally necessary, but that doesn’t change the fact that Paddy or Johnny might not speak to anyone for days and nights on end. Their quality of life has been changed irrevocably and no one is looking for a real solution. Even during the day, the very idea of the postman stopping for a cup of tea and a chat in 2010 is possibly a sacking offence. The impatient queues and overworked staff at the post office or the banks are no longer fair game to pass the time of day with and attempts to engage some shop assistants could result in you being under suspicion for having a stalker’s intent. With all our telephones, mobile phones, skype, facebook, twitter, blogs, e-commerce and other tools of communication we are, as a nation, a much more lonely and isolated society than at any other time in history.
It’s important for me to say at this juncture that I’m not looking to go back to the past and I wholeheartedly embrace facebook, blogs, twitter and being able to shop on the internet. What I believe we need is balance. I love the idea that we can enjoy our modernity without negating our humanity. We are not robots programmed to receive, but humans geared towards outreach. John Donne put it perfectly when he wrote, “No man is an island entire of itself….” John Donne lived in the 17th century so our leaning toward the singular must have been a cause for concern even then. It has been a slow trajectory but a steady one all the same.
I think the more recent resurgence of artisan and farmers markets throughout the country is as much about the people as it is the food. There is a convivial camaraderie among the stall holders and the customers. It’s a novelty to speak to the food producer, the very source. During the tiger years there was a good deal of nonsense attached to some of these markets; over inflated prices for mediocre product was just one difficulty. However our newfound lust for value has doomed the charlatans and the markets are now growing into small wholesome communities as they should do. We need to insist on this level of interest in our traditional shops also. It costs little for the checkout assistant to acknowledge a customer and yet the value to the shopper can be immense.
Where do shops fit into society these days? To be honest if we don’t encourage the social side then why should people make the effort to visit? Why should a person take the time to travel and the trouble to find parking if the experience is going to be cold and soulless? Why not just encourage everyone to buy a computer and shop online from the comfort of their own home? We must bring value back to retailing and that value is often found in the intangible. There is no boast in value, layout or hygiene these days; these should be a given, but we can single ourselves out on the shopping experience as a whole. The time is certainly ripe to welcome back the Cead Mile Failte that we’re known for around the world. Couldn’t we all do with the extra smiles!
I welcome your feedback – pat@jwb.ie
